CHAPTER 4.

I was allowed to join.

Often my evening meal would be a portion of chips from the chippy. I lost weight. Jenny on-the-other hand was overweight. She probably had a decent breakfast and a decent evening meal. Selfish people.

I was obsessed with joining the family at that time because it seemed the best way to build a better world and I couldn’t accept that I was to be denied serving God’s purpose. After some weeks I asked Jenny, Why can’t I join? She said because I don’t obey and follow her. I didn’t understand because I did absolutely everything she asked even to the smallest detail – more on this later.

I did have the one or two phone calls with Yukiko at this time, but her attitude was very judgemental and unfriendly – not at all nice!

At this time I asked to go on a 3rd 21 Day Workshop and Jenny agreed. So I did.

Peter was the lecturer again but to begin with he was absent. Again I saw that there was no purpose for whole spirit and I decided to love the staff and the clients and raise up the spirit. And I was accepted and I was liked and the love on the workshop began to increase, it was working. But then Peter arrived and then all the staff gave me a cold shoulder and the love in the centre fell like a pack of cards. I think Peter had given orders that I shouldn’t be allowed to leave my position as junior student.

I returned to Liverpool and soon after Jenny and Eric left to be replaced by 2 fundraising teams. One was led by an Austrian called Johann Hinterlittener and the second was led by Peter.

Johann was really nice. He was Western, but he was like me he believed in loving God and his team. So, I started fundraising with him and it all went well. He had a small but badly overloaded VW camper van and we were selling aluminium prints/art works. After a while I asked Johann if I could join and he said he would ask Mr Abe. He asked Mr Abe and he came back and he said if I could bring 3 spiritual children to the family I could join.

Impossible I thought, but I carried fundraising as normal and after some time Johann said that because my heart and attitude was good and that I could now join. But I was given a choice of joining Johann’s team or Peter’s team.

I thought about this, and I concluded that Johann’s van was already dangerously overloaded so I had to join Peter’s team, no choice. I came into the kitchen and Johann’s team was sat around there and they started shouting, Join our team! But I had made my mind up.

Also, Peter didn’t go out with his team because he had a stomach ulcer and his team sold plants which I preferred to prints. Also, life was more relaxed and deeply comfortable in Peter’s team than the high octane fire of Johann’s team. To be really honest and humble I was more comfortable in Peter’s team. But the main reason for my decision is that the VW van was dangerous. But you can see here yet again this duality of Johann’s team being loving and Peter’s team being beautiful.

So, I moved in.

But there were issues. The first was that there was only the one toilet/bathroom for maybe 15 or more men, how do you do a poo? On the first night (I think) I had this problem. Everyone was in the bathroom – I waited around until everybody had left except Johann. Then Johann said to me, Do you mind, I want to sit? So, I was kicked out, which on reflection was wrong – I was a guest on my first night I should have had access to the toilet first.

And then there was issue of my testosterone, how long could I go without masturbating?

On maybe my second night I was going asleep and Peter came and made his bed beside me – I didn’t like it. It felt like a homosexual love – which is not correct – it’s just Satan playing on my insecurity. But I thought, I don’t need to live in the centre to fundraise I can live in the community. And I packed my bags and left.

So, that’s what happened, I went back to live in the YMCA.
Soon after Johann announced that he was being a given a new van, a big Ford Transit. So I could have joined Johann’s team after all.

And soon after that announcement, then something happened – late at night a drunk driver hit Peter’s van at speed and wrote it off. A police officer was on duty and he saw the crash and arrested the driver.

Johann wryly told me what happened and said that his van got a dent on its front bumper – was this God’s judgement of the whole affair? Peter’s van wrote off, Johann’s dented.